Conversations on Rooftops
by Mrs Gordo
Summary: Faith and Buffy have a heart to heart following BTVS Season 11 (comics) finale regarding her feelings for Angel.


Buffy and Faith were the only two remaining on the rooftop after the cookout. Everyone else had gone off to bed.

"Gotta hand it to you B, you look real happy here. You and Spike seem to have a pretty good thing goin' huh?" Faith said as she leaned against the ledge of the roof top patio. She held a beer in her hand. Buffy could hear the slight slur in Faith's words. She had probably had a few too many beers herself.

Buffy leaned back on the patio chair. It felt so weird to be talking to Faith like this but they were in a much better place these days. Buffy had missed the bond that she had once had with her sister Slayer, in the days they had first met. "Yeah. Things are of the good right now." Buffy smiled to herself. She looked up at Faith and raised her eyebrows. "I told him that I loved him tonight."

Faith raised her eyebrows in return. She took a sip of the beer she was nursing. "The L word. That's the big one. How did it feel?"

"It felt… " Buffy paused to consider her answer. "It was the truth." Buffy looked off into the night and her expression changed slightly.

Faith's eyes darkened and narrowed a bit. She tilted her head to the side and studied Buffy. "But it didn't change anything did it?"

Buffy looked up and met Faith's eyes with a confused look. "I don't know what you mean."

"You thought saying those three little words to blondie would somehow magically change how you felt about _him_ , didn't you?" Faith shook her head slightly and took another healthy swig of her beer. "The heart is a funny thing."

Buffy sat up a little straighter but didn't respond.

Faith let out a laugh and then hopped up on the ledge. She stretched out her arms arching her back like a cat and looked out at the San Francisco skyline. "I love him too you know?"

Buffy's expression darkened but she didn't respond. She couldn't really form any coherent thoughts at the moment. She was too caught off guard by the unexpected topic of the conversation.

"Not like that." Faith looked back over at Buffy and gave a smug smirk when she saw Buffy's reaction.

"Then like _how_?" Buffy asked. Her voice betraying her jealousy.

"Like - he is the only family I've ever really had. There are many different kinds of love. I'm learning that. Heck, aside from you, he was the only one who ever believed I could be a better person when I first fell off the wagon. And when he needed me... well I was glad I could return the favor, ya know? Because that's what you do for the people you love. And I know he would have done it for me."

Buffy let out a small puff of air. "Yeah. You and him have always had a special bond. Redemption buddies complete with insightful mind walks. I feel like you know him better than…" Buffy swallowed hard. She didn't allow herself to finish the sentence. She pondered running away from this conversation all together but a certain heaviness at the pit of her stomach kept her rooted in place.

"It's not really about that though. I mean, he is my best friend and yet that there is a part of him I will never know. There is a part of him that belongs only to you. The rest is just a matter of asking questions you're too afraid to ask him." A brief silence fell between the two before Faith continued. "He used to visit me in prison, did you know that?" Faith asked.

Buffy played with the label of the beer bottle to keep her mind occupied. She shook her head slightly.

"He did. He would bring me brownies and magazines. He would tell me stories about jousting on the streets of LA and singing at demon karaoke bars. And he would tell me that we were gonna to make it. That we would find our way, both of us. And I believed him. He was the only visitor I ever had while I was in prison." Faith smiled to herself at the memory. "Then one day, he came in and he looked different. He was abnormally pale, his eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks slightly sunken like he hadn't been hitting up the butcher shop. I had never seen him look so utterly - hopeless." Buffy saw Faith's eyes water. "He told me that you had died, saving the world. And I remember he looked right at me and asked, 'how am I going to survive this?' And I couldn't answer him. For all the encouragement he had given me, I couldn't find what to say to comfort him. I hated seeing him so defeated. He didn't visit me for a long time after that, he would send me care packages and he would call me often but I didn't see him much until I broke out to help him. I think maybe I reminded him of you, even after you came back, when you still couldn't be together. I know it was hard for him. I think he tried so hard to close himself off."

"Why are you telling me this? That was a long time ago. He moved on."

"Did he?" Faith laughed incredulously. "You two are the most ridiculous people I have ever met when it comes to love. You know just last year he and I were on a rooftop just like this one. Our family had celebrated with us. He and I ended up the last ones on the roof, polishing off our beers. He was in full on brood mode - you know how he gets. So I asked him, 'What's on your mind big guy?' fully anticipating the brush off. I was surprised when he turned to me and said, 'She's happy with him, I should to let her go right?'

Buffy looked at Faith annoyed. "He let me go a long time before that. He let me go in a sewer in Sunnydale."

"Oh come on B, you don't believe that for a second." Faith scoffed. "And then you. Look at you? Maybe you can fool your friends and your honey but you aren't fooling me. I know you and I know Angel. You try to bury your feelings but the love you two share isn't the kind that goes away. And you surely can't make it go away by hiding behind your feelings for Spike."

Buffy shook her head as she looked down avoiding Faith's intense stare. She felt like she had been exposed. A fraud. "Me and Angel… it means death and destruction to those we love, you've seen it yourself. There is no point in dwelling on something that can never be. Regardless of what I feel."

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told him last year - on a rooftop just like this one. All you do is fight. You fight against evil, fight for what's right, fight to protect the ones you love. But have you ever considered fighting for each other?"

They sat in silence. Buffy still unable to meet Faith's gaze. Faith jumped down from the ledge and threw the beer bottle in the trash. "Anyway you two love the misery of it all. You carry your love for him like some sort of torch. All I'm saying is - life is short. Or well - our lives are short anyway." Buffy looked up and Faith smiled at her sympathetically and started towards the exit "...but what do I know? The longest relationship I've had is with my tattoo guy."

"Faith…" Buffy called out as she reached the exit door. "Does he still love me too?"

Faith turned to Buffy and gave he a sincere smile. "Always, but you know that." She turned and walked in the building.

Buffy leaned back on the chair, she wrapped her sweater around her tightly. She ran her fingers through what was left of her hair. She closed her eyes for a moment to feel the cool summer night breeze that swirled around her. She allowed herself that brief moment to feel her love for Angel, a love she had long suppressed. "Always," she whispered to herself.


End file.
